- A MODERN DAY CHRISTMAS
-
-
-
-
-
-
-
- T'was the night before
Christmas,
- and all through the shop,
The computers were whirring;
- they never do stop.
The power was on
- and the temperature right,
In hopes that the input
- would feed back that night.
The system was ready,
- the program was coded,
And memory drums
- had been carefully loaded;
While adding a Christmasy
- glow to the scene,
- The lights on the console,
- flashed red, white and
green.
When out in the hall
- there arose such a clatter,
The programmer ran
- to see what was the matter.
Away to the hallway
- he flew like a flash,
- Forgetting his key
- in his curious dash.
He stood in the hallway
- and looked all about,
When the door slammed behind him,
- and he was locked out.
Then, in the computer room
- what should appear,
But a miniature sleigh
- and eight tiny reindeer;
And a little old man,
- who with scarcely a pause,
Chuckled: "My name is Santa
- ...the last name is Claus."
The computer was startled,
- confused by the name,
Then it buzzed as it heard
- the old fellow exclaim:
"This is Dasher and Dancer
- and Prancer and Vixen,
And Comet and Cupid
- and Donner and Blitzen."
With all these odd names,
- it was puzzled anew;
It hummed and it clanked,
- and a main circuit blew.
It searched in its memory core,
- trying to "think";
Then the multi-line printer
- went out on the blink.
-
Unable to do its
- electronic job,
It said in a voice
- that was almost a sob:
"Your eyes - how they twinkle -
- your dimples so merry,
Your cheeks so like roses,
- your nose like a cherry,
Your smile - all these things,
- I've been programmed to
know,
And at data - recall,
- I am more than so - so;
But your name and your address
- (computers can't lie),
Are things that I just
- cannot identify.
-
You've a jolly old face
- and a little round belly,
That shakes when you laugh
- like a bowlful of jelly;
- My scanners can see you,
- but still I insist,
Since you're not in my program,
- you cannot exist!"
Old Santa just chuckled
- a merry "ho, ho",
And sat down to type out
- a quick word or so.
The keyboard clack-clattered,
- its sound sharp and clean,
- As Santa fed this "data"
- to the machine:
"Kids everywhere know me;
- I come every year;
The presents I bring
- add to everyone's cheer;
But you won't get anything -
- that's plain to see;
Too bad your programmers
- forgot about me."
Then he faced the machine
- and said with a shrug,
" Merry Christmas to All "
- as he pulled out the plug!
