THE GREAT ARMADILLO CAPER
PAPPY SLAMMED ON THE BRAKES, THREW THE
TRANSMISSION INTO NEUTRAL AND JERKED UP ON THE
EMERGENCY BRAKE HANDLE. ALL FOUR DOORS FLEW
OPEN AND WE ALL MADE A MAD DASH AFTER THE
VARMINT.
TO HIM IT MUST HAVE SOUNDED LIKE THE WHOLE SIOUX
NATION AT THE BATTLE OF THE LITTLE BIG HORN. HE
TURNED AND MADE A MAD DASH FOR THE WOODS. HE
WAS RUNNING AS FAST AS HIS LITTLE LEGS COULD
CARRY HIM.
MY NAME IS LOREN AND I’M ONE OF FOUR MEN ON A
ROUGHNECK CREW WORKING ON AN OIL DRILLING RIG
OUT OF GLADEWATER, TEXAS. THE OTHER THREE GUYS
ARE MOUSIE, PAPPY AND BEN. WE ALL LIVE IN
GLADEWATER. OUR RIG WAS ON LOCATION OUTSIDE OF
GRAPELAND, TEXAS. THAT WAS ABOUT A TWO HOUR
DRIVE FROM GLADEWATER THROUGH SOME BACKCOUNTRY
ON NARROW FARM TO MARKET ROADS.
ONE STRETCH OF THIS ROAD RAN THROUGH SOME DENSE
WOODS AND WE ALWAYS SAW ARMADILLOS ALONG SIDE OF
THE ROAD ON THIS STRETCH. ONE DAY THIS LED TO A
DISCUSSION AS TO HOW FAST AN ARMADILLO COULD
RUN. PAPPY SAID HE HAD HEARD THEY COULD OUTRUN
A HORSE. I LAUGHED AT HIM AND SAID I BET I CAN
CATCH ONE. WELL THIS LED TO A BET OF MILKSHAKES
FOR THE CREW AND THE GREAT ARMADILLO CAPER WAS
ON.
WE WORKED THE EVENING SHIFT FROM 3:00 PM UNTIL
11:OO PM AND WE ALWAYS LEFT HOME AT NOON SO WE
WOULD HAVE PLENTY OF TIME TO GET TO WORK ON
TIME. THE NEXT DAY AFTER THE BET WAS MADE WE
WERE READY FOR THE BIG RACE. WHEN WE GOT TO
THIS STRETCH OF ROAD THAT RAN THROUGH THE WOODS
WE WERE ALL WATCHING FOR AN ARMADILLO. THE
LITTLE FARM TO MARKET BLACKTOP WAS JUST WIDE
ENOUGH FOR TWO CARS TO PASS. THIS WAS PAPPY’S
DAY TO DRIVE AND HE HAD BEEN DRIVING DOWN THE
MIDDLE OF THE BLACKTOP WATCHING BOTH SIDES OF
THE ROAD.
ALL OF A SUDDEN PAPPY SLAMMED ON THE BRAKES,
THREW THE TRANSMISSION INTO NEUTRAL AND JERKED
UP ON THE EMERGENCY BRAKE HANDLE. ALL FOUR
DOORS FLEW OPEN AND WE ALL MADE A MAD DASH AFTER
THE VARMINT.
TO HIM IT MUST HAVE SOUNDED LIKE THE WHOLE SIOUX
NATION AT THE BATTLE OF THE LITTLE BIG HORN. HE
TURNED AND MADE A MAD DASH FOR THE WOODS. HE
WAS RUNNING AS FAST AS HIS LITTLE LEGS COULD
CARRY HIM.
WE WERE RIGHT BEHIND HIM WHOOPING AND HOLLERING
LIKE A BUNCH OF WILD INDIANS. I WAS IN THE LEAD
WITH BEN AND MOUSIE RIGHT BEHIND ME. PAPPY WAS
BRINGING UP THE REAR. IN AND OUT OF BRUSH
PILES, AROUND TREES AND UNDER LOGS THAT LITTLE
VARMINT WENT WITH US IN HOT PURSUIT.
FINALLY I GOT CLOSE ENOUGH TO REACH DOWN AND
GRAB HIS TAIL. I LIFTED HIM OFF THE GROUND AND
HE ROLLED UP IN A BALL. I TURNED AROUND AND
HELD HIM UP SO PAPPY COULD SEE HIM. BEN TOLD
PAPPY HE OWED US ALL A MILKSHAKE. WE WERE
LAUGHING AND TALKING ABOUT THE CHASE AS WE
WALKED BACK OUT OF THE WOODS TO THE CAR.
JUST AS WE GOT TO THE EDGE OF THE WOODS WE SAW A
TEXAS HIGHWAY PATROL CAR SITTING THERE IN THE
MIDDLE OF THE ROAD NOSE TO NOSE WITH OUR CAR.
OUR CAR WAS SITTING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD
WITH ALL FOUR DOORS OPEN AND THE MOTOR RUNNING.
AS WE WALKED OUT OF THE TREES THE TWO HIGHWAY
PATROLMEN SAW US AND CAME OVER TO US. WE LINED
UP ON THE SHOULDER OF THE ROAD WITH ME ON THE
RIGHT END. I WAS STANDING THERE HOLDING THIS
ARMADILLO OUT IN FRONT OF ME LIKE I WAS TRYING
TO HIDE BEHIND IT. NO ONE SAID A THING.
FINALLY ONE OF THE HIGHWAY PATROLMEN ASKED WHOSE
CAR THAT WAS BLOCKING THE ROAD. PAPPY MANAGED
TO SAY IT WAS HIS. THE PATROLMAN ASKED HIM WHY
IT WAS SITTING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD WITH
THE MOTOR RUNNING AND ALL FOUR DOORS WIDE OPEN.
PAPPY LOOKED AT ME LIKE I WAS SUPPOSED TO ANSWER
THAT QUESTION. ALL I COULD DO WAS HOLD UP THE
ARMADILLO A LITTLE HIGHER AND POINT TO IT.
FOR THE NEXT 30 MINUTES THE PATROLMAN LECTURED
US AND WHAT HE SAID IS A WHOLE NOTHER STORY FOR
DIFFERENT TIME. AFTERWARD I LET THE ARMADILLO
GO AND WE GOT IN OUR CAR AND WENT ON TO WORK
BUT THE REST OF THE RIDE WAS SURE QUITE. NO ONE
SAID A WORD. WE EVEN FORGOT ABOUT THE
MILKSHAKES THAT PAPPY OWED US.
*****
COPYRIGHT
2002
