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KETTLE CALLS THE POT BLACK

 

 

 

THE OTHER DAY AS I WALKED INTO THE KITCHEN, I TRIPPED ON ONE OF JOHNNIE’S SHOES.  SHE IS ALL THE TIME LEAVING HER SHOES SETTING AROUND WHERE EVER SHE KICKS THEM OFF.

 

IN A LITTLE WHILE JOHNNIE CAME INTO THE KITCHEN TO FIX SUPPER.  I HAD BEEN SITTING IN THE DEN READING A BOOK WHEN THE DOOR BELL RANG AND I LAID MY BOOK ON THE COFFEE TABLE, WHEN I WENT TO ANSWER THE DOOR.

 

IT WAS THE PAPER BOY COLLECTING FOR THE NEWS PAPER.  I TOLD HIM TO WAIT A MINUTE AND I WOULD WRITE HIM A CHECK.  I GOT OUR CHECK BOOK OUT OF A KITCHEN CABINET DRAWER AND A PEN AND SAT DOWN AT THE COFFEE TABLE AND WROTE HIM A CHECK.  I LEFT THE CHECK BOOK AND PEN ON THE COFFEE TABLE AND WALKED BACK TO THE DOOR AND GAVE THE BOY HIS CHECK.

 

AS I WALKED BACK INTO THE DEN THE TELEPHONE RANG AND JOHNNIE THREW DOWN HER DISH RAG AND ANSWERED IT.  SHE TOLD ME IT WAS PAT AND HE WANTED TO TALK TO ME.  I TOLD HER I WOULD GO IN THE OFFICE TO TAKE THE CALL.  JOHNNIES DISH RAG HAD MISSED THE CABINET AND FALLEN ON THE FLOOR.  SHE DIDN’T BOTHER TO PICK IT UP, SHE JUST GRABBED ANOTHER OFF THE TOWEL RACK.

 

AFTER JOHNNIE GOT A CASSEROLE IN THE OVER SHE WALKED OVER TO HER LOUNGE CHAIR IN THE DEN AND PICKED UP THE NEWSPAPER.  SHE SAT DOWN AND STARTED READING THE PAPER.  THEN SHE SAW OUR CHECK BOOK LYING ON THE COFFEE TABLE.  SHE THREW THE PAPER ON THE FLOOR AND PICKED THE CHECK BOOK UP AND CAME INTO THE OFFICE.

 

I HAD JUST HUNG UP THE PHONE AND JOHNNIE SHOOK THE CHECK BOOK AT ME AND SAID, ”HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP THIS HOUSE CLEAN WHEN YOU JUST THROW THINGS DOWN ANY WHERE?”

 

“I HAVEN’T HAD A CHANCE TO PUT THE CHECK BOOK UP YET” I ANSWERED.

 

JOHNNIE STOMPED OFF BACK TO THE KITCHEN TO CHECK ON HER CASSEROLE.  I FOLLOWED ALONG BEHIND HER.  WHEN SHE GOT BACK TO THE KITCHEN SHE THREW THE CHECK BOOK ON THE CABINET COUNTER AND OPENED THE OVEN DOOR TO LOOK AT HER CASSEROLE.  I PICKED UP THE CHECK BOOK AND PUT IT BACK INTO THE DRAWER WHERE WE KEPT IT.

 

AFTER CHECKING THE CASSEROLE JOHNNIE TURNED AROUND AND WAS STILL GIVING ME HECK ABOUT LEAVING THINGS LYING AROUND INSTEAD OF PUTTING THEM UP.  I POINTED TO JOHNNIES SHOE LYING ON THE KITCHEN FLOOR, THEN TO THE DISH TOWEL AND THEN TO THE NEWSPAPER AND ASKED, “IS THE KETTLE CALLING THE POT BLACK?”

 

WELL WHAT HER ANSWER WAS WOULD BE A WHOLE NOTHER STORY FOR A DIFFERENT TIME BUT YOU REALLY DON’T WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT WAS SO I WON’T WRITE IT.

 

 

  BY LOREN MOORE

COPYRIGHT 2004

 

LOREN

 SEE YA

MUSIC . . . OH JOHNNY . . . BY GRANDPA FRANK

 

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