Thank You For Visiting

Texas Bob's World

 

Listen with Windows Media Player Plug-in

 

 

 

LEARNING COMPUTER

 

 

 

 

      NOW I KNOW IíM SUPPOSE TO DO MORE WITH MY COMPUTER THEN PLAY SOLITAIRE SO THE NEXT MORNING  AFTER I GOT IT RIGHT AFTER BREAKFAST I TURN THE DARN THING BACK ON.  AFTER THAT FLAG DANCES AND THE MUSIC PLAYS, UP COMES MY DESK TOP.  I DECIDE TO REALLY BE ADVENTUROUS TODAY SO I CLICK CLICK ON MY DOCUMENTS.  UP COMES A WINDOW THAT SAYS MY DOCUMENTS ON THE LEFT SIDE  AND THE REST OF THE WINDOW IS EMPTY.  WELL THATíS REASONABLE, I THINK BECAUSE I HAVENíT GIVEN THE COMPUTER ANY OF MY DOCUMENTS.  BUT HOW DO I DO THAT?  WELL UP AT THE TOP OF THIS WINDOW IS A LINE OF WORDS.  SO I CLICK ON FILE AND HEREíS ONE OF THOSE LIST.  I CLICK ON NEW IN THIS LIST AND I GET ANOTHER LIST.  I CLICK ON MICROSOFT WORD DOCUMENT THINKING MAYBE BILL GATES HAS PUT A DOCUMENT IN MY COMPUTER.  NO SUCH LUCK, ALL I GET IS A WINDOW THAT SAYS MICROSOFT WORD DOCUMENT 1 AND A BLANK SCREEN.

 

    THIS LITTLE LINE IS FLASHING OFF AND ON LIKE IT WANTS ME TO DO SOMETHING.  SO I TYPE HELLO, WHAT DO YOU WANT?  THE STUPID THING JUST SITS THERE AND WONíT ANSWER ME,  AND I THOUGHT COMPUTERS WERE SUPPOSE TO BE SO SMART.  AFTER WAITING ABOUT FIVE MINUTES FOR AN ANSWER I GET BORED AND GO WANDERING OFF LOOKING FOR A GAME OF SOLITAIRE.  I GET LOST IN THE WINDOWS AND LISTS AND NEVER DO FIND THAT DECK OF CARDS.

 

    I DO FIND MY WAY BACK TO MY DESK TOP SO I CLICK CLICK ON PAPER PORT AND UP POPS A WINDOW TITLED VISIONEER PAPER PORT AND IT HAS WHAT ELSE, A LIST.  ON THIS LIST I SEE PHOTOGRAPHS.  IíM COURIOUS TO SEE PHOTOGRAPHS OF WHAT.  MAYBE NAKED  WOMEN! SO I CLICK ON PHOTOGRAPHS.  NOTHING HAPPENS EXCEPT PHOTOGRAPHS TURNS BLUE.  MAYBE ITíS HOLDING ITS BREATH WAITING FOR THOSE PICTURES OF THE NAKED WOMEN.  AFTER AWHILE I SEE THAT NEITHER ME  NOR MY COMPUTER IS GOING TO SEE ANY PHOTOGRAPHS SO I GO LOOKING FOR THAT DECK OF CARDS AGAIN.

 

    THE NEXT DAY IíM DETERMINED TO DO SOMETHING WITH MY COMPUTER.  IíVE GOT A SCANNER AND A PRINTER WITH IT SO I DECIDE IíM GOING TO LEARN HOW TO USE THEM.  I TEAR THE COVER OFF THE J, C, PENNYíS SALE CATALOG THAT EXPIRED LAST MONTH AND PUT IT IN THE SCANNER.  I NOTICE THE NAME ON THE SCANNER LID FOR THE FIRST TIME.  IT SAYS PAPER PORT SO I CLICK CLICK ON PAPER PORT ON MY DESK TOP.  UP COMES THIS LIST. BUT I DONíT SEE ANYTHING ABOUT CATALOG COVERS.  THEN I SEE THIS LITTLE PICTURE OF MY SCANNER UP AT THE TOP OF THE SCREEN.  SO I CLICK ON THIS PICTURE AND UP JUMPS A WINDOW WITH A BUNCH OF INSTRUCTIONS ON IT AND AT THE BOTTOM ARE FOUR LITTLE BOXES.  ONE OF THEM SAYS SCAN SO I CLICK ON IT. HEY!  SOMETHING IS HAPPENING.  THE SCANNER IS SCANNING.  NOW THATíS REAL PROGRESS.  IíVE COME FROM SOLITAIRE TO SCANNING SOMETHING.

 

    THE NEXT THING TO DO IS TO LEARN WHAT TO DO WITH WHAT IíVE SCANNED.  I HAVE THIS THING CALLED ďTEXT BRIDGE PRO 98Ē ON MY DESK TOP. I CLICK ON IT AND I GET ANOTHER WINDOW.  THIS WINDOW IS TITLED TEXTBRIDGE AND HAS A SUB WINDOW THAT HAS SEVERAL CHOICES IN IT, LIKE ďANY PAGEĒ, ďDUAL PAGEĒ, ďLEGAL DOCUMENTSĒ, AND ETC.  BUT IT DOESNíT HAVE A CHOICE FOR CATALOG COVERS.  WELL I CLICK ON ďANY PAGEĒ HOPING THAT WILL COVER CATALOG COVERS.  I SEE THAT TEXTBRIDGE IS NOT SATISFIED WITH MY SCAN.  IT WANTS ONE OF ITS OWN.  SO I CLICK ON ďOKĒ AND UP COMES MY SCANNER WINDOW. I THINK, IíVE BEEN HERE BEFORE. SO I SCAN THE CATALOG COVER AGAIN.

 

NOW IíM SUPPOSE TO DO SOMETHING WITH IT.  I CLICK ON FILE AND SEE ďSAVE ASĒ ON THE LIST THAT JUMPED UP.  I CLICK ON THAT AND SEE MY DOCUMENTS. I CLICK ON THAT AND I HAVE SAVED MY PICTURE OF THE J. C. PENNYíS SALE CATALOG COVER.  NOW WHAT DO I DO WITH IT?  IíVE GOT A PRINTER SO I PRINT A COPY OF MY PICTURE OF THE J. C. PENNYíS SALE CATALOG  COVER.  THE PRINTER MUST BE PROUD OF ITíS SELF BECAUSE WHEN ITíS THROUGH PRINTING IT PLAYS A LITTLE TUNE AND DOES A JIG.

 

    HEY!  THATíS KIND OF CUTE.  SO I CLICK ON THE PRINTER AGAIN.  THATíS NICE, I THINK.  SO I CALL MY WIFE IN AND CLICK ON PRINTER AGAIN SO SHE CAN HEAR THE LITTLE TUNE IT PLAYS WHEN ITíS THROUGH PRINTING. SHE SAYS DO THAT AGAIN.  SO I CLICK ON PRINTER AGAIN. AFTER AWHILE SHE GETS TIRED OF LISTENING TO THE SAME TUNE EACH TIME AND GOES BACK TO WHATEVER SHE WAS DOING BEFORE I CALLED HER.  AS SHE WAS LEAVING SHE TELLS ME GOD PUT HER ON THIS EARTH TO ACCOMPLISH A CERTAIN NUMBER OF THINGS. RIGHT NOW SHE IS SO FAR BEHIND, SHE WILL NEVER DIE.

 

    THIS HAS BEEN A BETTER DAY ON THE COMPUTER.  I MAY LEARN TO USE IT YET.  BY THE WAY DOES ANYONE HAVE A SUGGESTION OF WHAT I CAN DO WITH 23 COPIES OF LAST MONTHS J. C. PENNYíS SALE CATALOG COVER?

 

    OLD McDONALD HAD A FARM  EE-I EE-I O.  AND ON THIS FARM HE HAD A COMPUTER EE-I EE-I O.  WITH A CLICK CLICK HERE AND A CLICK CLICK THERE AND A HERE CLICK, THERE CLICK, EVERYWHERE CLICK CLICK.  OLD McDONALD HAD A FARM EE-I EE-I O.

 

 

    THIS COMPUTER IS DRIVING ME CRAZY!!!!!

 

  BY LOREN MOORE

COPYRIGHT 1999

 
 

   

GOT TO GO, SEE YA YA

 

LIKE TO JOIN OUR FREE MAILING LIST?, CLICK ON THE HEART BELOW

 

.

I would love to hear your comments on the pages we prepare  and recommend, we enjoy doing it for your pleasure, our pleasure is receiving your comments.

Page design By: Texas Bob

Visitors to the site since 7-12-03

free web counter