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ON THE ROAD AGAIN

 

 

 

 

 

ON THE ROAD AGAIN

JUST CANíT WAIT TO GET ON THE ROAD AGAIN

THE LIFE I LOVE IS MAKINí MUSIC WITH MY FRIENDS

AND I CANíT WAIT TO GET ON THE ROAD AGAIN

 

ON THE ROAD AGAIN

GOINí PLACES THAT IíVE NEVER BEEN

SEEINí THINGS THAT I MAY NEVER SEE AGAIN

AND CANíT WAIT TO GET ON THE ROAD AGAIN.

 

SANG WILLIE NELSON ON MY PICKUP RADIO AS I DROVE WEST ON INTERSTATE 20.  I HAD LEFT ARLINGTON EARLY THIS MORNING AND WAS ON MY WAY TO SEE CALIFORNIA BEFORE IT SLID OFF INTO THE OCEAN.  I HAD BEEN READING A GROCERY STORE TABLOID NAMED ďENQUIRERĒ THAT SAID CALIFORNIAíS DAYS WERE NUMBERED.

 

I HAD PASSED THROUGH FORT WORTH, ABILENE AND WAS NOW COMING UP ON ODESSA.  I THOUGHT ABOUT STOPPING AT ODESSA AT A RESTAURANT FOR A MEAL BUT I REALLY DIDNíT WANT TO TAKE THAT MUCH TIME.  I WANTED TO MAKE IT TO EL PASO BEFORE I STOPPED FOR THE NIGHT.

 

SO I PULLED INTO THE NEXT REST AREA I CAME TO.  I WENT TO THE BATHROOM, THEN CLIMBED INTO MY CAMPER AND MADE ME A PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICH.  I WRAPPED IT IN A VIVA PAPER TOWEL, GOT A CAN OF 7 UP OUT OF MY IGLOO ICE CHEST AND WAS BACK ON THE ROAD AGAIN IN TEN MINUTES.

 

WHEN I CAME TO WHERE INTERSTATE 20 MERGED WITH INTERSTATE 10 I KNEW I ONLY HAD 150 MILES TO GO.  NOW ITíS ALMOST 700 MILES FROM MY HOUSE TO EL PASO.  I HAVE 24 GALLON SADDLE TANKS ON MY PICKUP SO I FIGURED I COULD MAKE EL PASO BEFORE I HAD TO BUY GASOLINE.  MY PICKUP GETS 16 MILES TO THE GALLON.  YOU DO THE MATH.

 

IT WAS GETTING DARK AND I HAD ALREADY EMPTIED ONE TANK AND THE OTHER ONE WAS SHOWING ALMOST EMPTY, WHEN I TOPPED A LITTLE RISE AND SAW THE LIGHTS OF EL PASO SPREAD OUT IN FRONT OF ME.  I HEAVED A BIG SIGH OF RELIEF.  JUST A LITTLE FARTHER DOWN THE ROAD I CAME TO A TEXACO SERVICE STATION.  I PULLED IN AND FILLED BOTH TANKS.

 

THEN I PULLED BACK OUT ON THE HIGHWAY AND 7 MILES FARTHER I SAW A SIGN FOR A K O A CAMP GROUND.  I SPENT THE NIGHT THERE.  WITH ELECTRICITY IN MY CAMPER, I COOKED ME SOME SUPPER.  THE NEXT MORNING I SLEEP IN AND COOKED SOME BACON AND EGGS FOR BREAKFAST.

 

AFTER BREAKFAST I WAS BACK ON THE ROAD AGAIN.  I WENT THROUGH LAS CRUCES, NEW MEXICO AND CROSSED THE ARIZONA STATE LINE AFTER GOING PASSED LORDSBURG.

 

WHEN I GOT TO TUCSON, I DECIDED I WANTED SOME REAL MEXICAN FOOD SO I STOPPED AT A NICE RESTAURANT AND WHILE I WAS WAITING TO BE SEATED I PICKED UP A BROCHURE FOR A RACK BY THE DOOR.  IT SAID TOMBSTONE ON THE FRONT OF IT.  BEFORE I COULD READ IT THE WAITRESS WAS THERE TO SEAT ME.

 

AFTER I GAVE HER MY ORDER I LOOKED OVER THE BROCHURE.  IT SAID THAT TOMBSTONE WAS THE HOME OF THE OK CORRAL WHERE THE FAMOUS GUN FIGHT BETWEEN WYATT EARP AND HIS BROTHERS AND THE BILLY CLANTON GANG TOOK PLACE.  IT ALSO SAID THAT THERE WERE SEVERAL OF THE ORIGINAL SALOONS WERE STILL THERE.

 

I FINISHED EATING AND DECIDED I WOULD GO TO TOMBSTONE.  IT WAS JUST OUT SIDE OF TUCSON A LITTLE WAYS.  WHEN I GOT THERE I WENT IN ONE OF THE SALOONS AND SAT DOWN AT A TABLE AND WAS DRINKING A BEER WHEN THIS GUY CAME IN AND TOLD EVERYONE TO GET OUT.  THEY WERE FILMING A MOVIE AND WERE READY TO TAKE SOME FILM INSIDE THE SALOON.  WHEN I STOOD UP TO LEAVE, HE TOLD ME TO SIT BACK DOWN.  THEY NEEDED SOME PEOPLE SITTING AT THE TABLES FOR THE SHOOT. 

 

I GUESS THE FACT THAT I HAD ON MY COWBOY BOOTS, BLUE JEANS AND A RED FLANNEL SHIRT, WAS THE REASON HE LET ME STAY.  THAT AND MY WESTERN HAT WAS SETTING ON THE TABLE BY MY ELBOW.  I WASNíT PAID ANY MONEY BUT JUST BEING IN A MOVIE GAVE ME BRAGGING RIGHTS.  BUT THATíS A WHOLE NOTHER STORY FOR A DIFFERENT TIME.

 

ANYWAY BY THE TIME I GOT BACK TO TUCSON I DECIDED I WOULD SPEND THE NIGHT AND GET BACK ON THE ROAD AGAIN IN THE MORNING.  THERE WASNíT A K O A CAMP GROUND IN TUCSON SO I SPENT THE NIGHT IN A MOTEL.

 

THE NEXT MORNING IíM ON MY WAY TO PHOENIX AND WHEN I GET THERE I GET MIXED UP IN ALL THE ROADS AND WIND UP GOING THE WRONG WAY.  I HAVE TO GET OFF THE BIG DIVIDED HIGHWAY AND TURN AROUND.  BEFORE I GET BACK ON I-10 I SEE THIS ROAD SIDE STAND WITH GRAPEFRUIT AND ORANGES.  I STOPPED AND BOUGHT A DOZEN ORANGES.

 

AS IíM DRIVING ALONG I PEEL ONE OF THE ORANGES AND EAT IT.  IT IS ONE OF THE SWEETEST, JUICIEST, BEST TASTING ORANGES I HAVE EVER EATEN.  AFTER DRIVING FOR ANOTHER HOUR I HAVE COME TO THE CALIFORNIA BORDER.

 

THERE IS A BARRICADE ACROSS THE HIGHWAY WITH A LITTLE HOUSE BY IT.  WHEN I PULL UP TO THIS BARRICADE A MAN WITH A UNIFORM, BADGE AND GUN GOES OUT.  HE SAYS, ďWELL HELLO TEX.Ē  I GUESS HE HAS SEEN MY TEXAS LICENSE PLATE.  BEFORE I CAN ANSWER HE ASKED IF I HAVE ANY PLANTS OR FRUIT IN MY PICKUP.

 

I LOOK OVER AT MY SACK OF ORANGES AND THINK THAT THIS GUY IS PRETTY HOT AND THIRSTY SITTING OUT HERE ALL BY HIMSELF.  SO I REACH OVER AND TAKE ONE ORANGE OUT OF THE SACK AND HAND IT TO HIM.  I EXPECT HIM TO SAY THANK YOU.  BUT NO, HE SAYS LISTEN YOU IGNORANT TEXAS REDNECK, HAND ME THAT SACK AND ALL THE ORANGES.

 

NOW IíM PROUD IíM FROM TEXAS AND BEING CALLED A REDNECK BACK WHERE I COME FROM IS A COMPLIMENT.  BUT NO ONE CALLS ME IGNORANT AND GETS AWAY WITH IT.  I JERK MY DOOR OPEN AND START TO CRAWL OUT OF THE PICKUP.  THIS LITTLE TIN COP HOLLERS ďWHOAĒ AND HE STEPS BACK AND PUTS HIS HAND ON HIS PISTOL.  THATíS WHEN I WHOA.

 

LISTEN FELLOW, IíM JUST DOING MY JOB.  YOU CANíT TAKE PLANTS OR FRUIT INTO CALIFORNIA.  SO YOU HAVE TWO CHOICES.  YOU CAN TURN AROUND AND GO BACK WHERE YOU CAME FROM OR YOU CAN GIVE UP THE ORANGES.  WELL IíVE COME THIS FAR SO I GUESS IíLL GIVE UP THE ORANGES.

 

BEFORE LONG THE ROADS START GETTING CRAZY AND THE TRAFFIC IS EVEN CRAZIER.  BEFORE I KNOW WHAT HAPPENED IíM ON I-215 AND THEN IT MERGES WITH I-15.  I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE I AM. 

 

WHEN I COME TO AN EXIT TO HIGHWAY 78, I TAKE IT.  THE FIRST TOWN I COME TO IS SAN MARCUS.  ITíS GETTING DARK SO I DECIDE TO STOP HERE FOR THE NIGHT.  I GO LOOKING FOR A GROCERY STORE TO BUY SOME THINGS FOR SUPPER.  ITíS NOT LONG BEFORE I FIND ONE AND I PULL INTO THE PARKING LOT.  BOY ITíS FULL OF CARS AND SUVíS.

 

THIS TOWN IS AS FULL OF PEOPLE AS THAT FREEWAY WAS FULL OF CARS.  WHEN I GO IN THE GROCERY STORY IT IS WALL TO WALL PEOPLE.  WHEN I FINALLY GET A CART I GO TO THE PRODUCE DEPARTMENT.  THERE IS A LINE OF CARTS GOING DOWN THE AISLE SO I TAKE MY PLACE AT THE END OF THE LINE AND SLOWLY PUSH MY CART ALONG.  I COME TO A LARGE DISPLAY OF ORANGES.  I SACK UP A DOZEN AND DROP THEM INTO MY CART.  I PASS SOME GRAPES BUT I SEE BANANAS NEXT SO I GET ME 6 BANANAS.  THEN I TURN BACK TO GET SOME GRAPES BUT THE LADY PUSHING HER CART BEHIND ME GIVES ME A DIRTY LOOK SO I JUST KEEP GOING.

 

THEN I LOOK FOR THE AISLE THAT HAS CRACKERS.  I FIND THEM ON AISLE SEVEN.  I START DOWN AISLE SEVEN AND THAT LADY FROM THE PRODUCE DEPARTMENT IS RIGHT BEHIND ME.  ďI DIDNíT KNOW THEY MADE SO MANY DIFFERENT KIND OF CRACKERSĒ I MUTTERED TO MYSELF.

 

ABOUT HALF WAY DOWN THE AISLE I SAW A LITTLE GREEN BOX THAT SAID CLUB CRACKERS ON IT.  I DIDNíT KNOW WHAT CLUB CRACKERS WERE BUT THE BOX WAS MORE THE SIZE I WAS LOOKING FOR,  THEY WERE ON THE BOTTOM SHELVE SO I BENT OVER TO GET ONE.

 

WELL THATíS WHAT STARTED IT.  YOU KNOW, ONE OF THOSE CHAIN REACTIONS LIKE THEY HAVE ON THE FREEWAYS.  THIS LADY BEHIND ME PUSHED HER CART INTO MY BUTT.  THIS CAUSED ME TO FALL FORWARD PUSHING MY CART INTO THE LADY IN FRONT OF ME.  SHE PUSHED HER CART INTO THE MAN IN FRONT OF HER AND HE TURNED HIS CART SIDE WAYS TRYING TO SEE WHAT WAS GOING ON.

 

HIS CART GOOSED A LADY COMING THE OTHER WAY IN THE BUTT AND SHE JUMPED UP ON HER CART AND CAUSED IT TO TURN OVER AND SPILL ALL HER GROCERIES ON THE FLOOR.  SHE WENT DOWN ON TOP OF THE GROCERIES.  THE MAN THAT HAD GOOSED HER BENT DOWN TO HELP HER UP AND THE CART THAT HAD BEEN BEHIND THE LADY THAT FELL DOWN HIT HIS CART TURNING IT OVER ON BOTH OF THEM.

 

I STOOD THERE WITH MY MOUTH OPEN WATCHING ALL THIS WHEN I HEARD THE LADY THAT HAD STARTED ALL THIS SAY, ďWILL YOU GET OUT OF THE WAY YOU STUPID REDNECK?Ē  I WHEELED ON HER AND SAID, ĒLISTEN LADY I DONíT MIND BEING CALLED A REDNECK, BUT STUPID IíM NOT.  IíVE BEEN TO TWO HAG KILLINGS AND A COUNTY FAIR.  I DIDNíT JUST RIDE IN HERE ON A TURNIP TRUCK.

 

NOW YOU CAN CALL ME TEX OR YOU CAN CALL ME REDNECK OR YOU CAN CALL ME LOREN, BUT DONíT YOU DARE CALL ME STUPID.  YOU GOT THAT!  ďYES MR. REDN Ö ER, MR LOREN.  MY NAMEíS JOHNNIE AND I WASĒ Ö  JUST THEN THE STOREíS LOUD SPEAKER CUT HER OFF.

 

ďMAJOR CLEAN UP ON AISLE SEVEN.  ALL HANDS ON DECK!Ē  THATíS WHEN THE AISLE FILLED UP WITH STORE EMPLOYEE.  THEY MADE ALL OF US LEAVE OUR BASKETS AND EXIT THE AISLE.  ďWELL SHOOTĒ I SAID TO MYSELF.  ďIíM NOT GOING TO GO THROUGH THIS BATTLE AGAIN.Ē  SO I LEFT THE STORE.

 

THE NEXT MORNING I DROVE ON DOWN TO SAN DIEGO AND WENT TO THE ZOO.  THE ZOO IS SUPPOSE TO BE THE LARGEST IN THE U.S.  THEY EVEN HAD A LITTLE RUBBER TIRED TRAIN THAT HAD OPEN CARS YOU COULD SIT IN AND THEY WOULD DRIVE YOU AROUND THE ZOO.

 

WELL AFTER SEEING THE ZOO I THOUGHT ABOUT GOING ON INTO MEXICO BUT THEN I THOUGHT ABOUT CALIFORNIA SLIDING OFF INTO THE OCEAN AND DECIDED IT WAS TIME I WENT HOME.  I NEVER WAS MUCH OF A SWIMMER AND I DIDNíT WANT TO BE HERE WHEN CALIFORNIA WENT FOR A SWIM.

 

ON THE WAY OUT OF TOWN I BOUGHT A DOZEN ORANGES TO EAT ON WHILE I WAS DRIVING HOME.  AS I WAS NEARING THE ARIZONA/CALIFORNIA BORDER I REMEMBERED THAT CHECK STATION WHERE THE COP TOOK MY ORANGES AWAY FROM ME WHEN I CROSSED THAT BORDER COMING IN.

 

THEYíRE NOT GETTING MY ORANGES THIS TIME, IíLL JUST THROW THE ORANGES OUT MY PICKUP WINDOW BEFORE I LET THAT COP HAVE THEM.  I SAID TO MY SELF.  I ROLLED DOWN THE WINDOW AND TOSSED THE SACK OF ORANGES OUT, SACK AND ALL.  I LOOKED IN MY SIDE VIEW MIRROR AND SAW THE ORANGES ROLLING DOWN THE PAVEMENT.

 

WHEN I GOT TO THE BARRICADE, THERE WERE THREE CARS LINED UP ON THE INCOMING SIDE AND THE COP WAS STANDING AT THE WINDOW OF THE FIRST ONE.  THEN I REALIZED THERE WAS NO BARRICADE ON THE OUT GOING SIDE.  I THOUGHT ABOUT MY ORANGES ROLLING DOWN THE PAVEMENT AND A TEAR CAME INTO MY EYE.

 

WHEN I GOT BACK TO TEXAS I PULLED INTO MONAHANS STATE PARK TO SPEND THE NIGHT.  MONAHANS PARK IS WHERE ALL THE BIG SAND DUNES ARE.  THE NEXT MORNING I DECIDED I WOULD WALK OUT INTO THE DUNES BEFORE I GOT ON THE ROAD AGAIN.

 

MY CAMP SITE WAS IN THE BACK OF THE CAMPING AREA AND THERE WAS A SAND DUNE RIGHT NEXT TO WHERE I WAS PARKED.  SO ALL I HAD TO DO WAS WALK, OR SHOULD I SAY CRAWL UP THE SIDE OF THE DUNE.  WHEN I GOT TO THE TOP ALL I COULD SEE WAS ANOTHER DUNE.

 

SO I SLIDE DOWN THE SIDE OF THIS ONE AND CRAWLED UP THE NEXT ONE.  THERE WAS ANOTHER DUNE SO I WENT TO THE TOP OF IT.  WHEN I STOOD UP ALL I COULD SEE WAS DUNE AFTER DUNE STRETCHING FOR MILES.  I SLIDE DOWN THE SIDE OF THIS THIRD DUNE BUT I DIDNíT CLIMB THE NEXT ONE.

 

INSTEAD I WALKED ALONG THE VALLEY BETWEEN THE THIRD AND THE FORTH DUNE.  AFTER A WHILE I SAW SOMETHING STICKING OUT OF THE SAND OF THE FORTH DUNE.  AS I GOT CLOSER I SAW IT WAS AND OLD WAGON WHEEL.  THE KIND THE WAS USED ON THE OLD CONESTOGA COVERED WAGONS.

 

BOY I WONDER HOW LONG THIS WHEEL HAS BEEN HERE.  IT MUST BE OVER A HUNDRED YEARS OLD.  I KNOW THEY SAY THAT THESE SAND DUNES SHIFT FROM TIME TO TIME AND UNCOVER THINGS THAT HAVE BEEN BURIED FOR A LONG TIME. THIS WHEEL IS TO BIG AND HEAVY FOR ME TO CARRY OUT OF HERE.  IN FACT IíM NOT SURE WHERE HERE IS.

 

I THOUGHT IT WAS TIME TO GO BACK TO MY PICKUP AND GET ON THE ROAD TO HOME.  SO I CRAWLED BACK UP THREE SAND DUNES AND EXPECTED TO BE BACK AT MY CAMP SITE.  BUT I WASNíT.  ALL I COULD SEE WAS MORE SAND DUNES.  I WAS LOST IN THIS SEA OF SAND.

 

AFTER THINKING ABOUT THIS FOR A WHILE, I DECIDED I MUST HAVE GOT TURNED AROUND SOME HOW.  ALL I HAD TO DO WAS GO BACK TO THE TROUGH WHERE THE WHEEL WAS AND GO THREE SAND DUNES THE OTHER WAY.  SO BACK I WENT AND WENT THREE DUNES THE OTHER WAY.  BUT WHEN I TOPPED OUT ON THE THIRD DUNE, INSTEAD OF SEEING MY PICKUP I SAW NOTHING BUT MORE DUNES!

 

I SAT DOWN IN THE SAND AND PUT MY FACE IN MY HANDS.  I WAS LOST.  I WAS HOT AND I WAS THIRSTY.  I DIDNíT KNOW WHAT TO DO.  AFTER A WHILE I KNEW I HAD TO GO BACK TO THAT WHEEL.  THAT IS WHERE ALL MY TROUBLE STARTED.  SO I CRAWLED BACK TO THE WHEEL. 

 

WHEN I GOT THERE, I STARTED DIGGING AROUND THE WHEEL TO SEE WHAT ELSE MIGHT BE BURIED IN THE SAND WITH IT.  ALL I HAD TO DIG WITH WAS MY HANDS AND AFTER DIGGING A FOOT INTO THE SAND I NOTICED THE SAND WAS NO LONGER HOT.  IT WAS COOL TO THE TOUCH.  I WONDERED IF I DUG A TRENCH DOWN TO THE COOL SAND IN THE SIDE OF THE DUNE IF I COULD LAY DOWN IN IT AND COOL OFF.

 

SURE, I WOULD TRY THAT AND I STARTED DIGGING A TRENCH NEXT TO THE WHEEL.  BEFORE I HAD DUG FAR I HIT A BOARD.  I HAD TO THINK ABOUT THIS FOR A WHILE BUT THEN I REALIZED IT WAS THE SIDE OF THAT CONESTOGA WAGON.  I STOPPED DIGGING.  I DIDNíT WANT TO SEE WHAT WAS IN THAT WAGON.  IN MY MINDS EYE I COULD JUST SEE THE BONES OF A PIONEER FAMILY TRAPPED IN THE SAND DUNES AND DIEING HERE.

 

I LOOKED AT MY WATCH.  IT WAS ALREADY FOUR OíCLOCK.  I HADNíT HAD ANY THING TO EAT OR DRINK FOR HOURS.  THE SUN WAS BEARING DOWN AND THERE WAS NO WIND.  I WAS TIRED, HOT AND THIRSTY.  MY BOOTS AND CLOTHS WERE FULL OF SAND.  I WAS LOST AND DIDNíT KNOW HOW TO GET BACK TO MY PICKUP. 

 

SO I JUST LAY DOWN AND AS EXHAUSTED AS I WAS, FELL ASLEEP.  SOME TIME LATER I WOKE UP.  I WAS COLD.  IT WAS DARK AND THERE WAS A SLIVER OF MOON SHOWING.  IT MADE EVERYTHING LOOK SPOOKY.  I GOT UP AND STARTED WALKING ALONG THE TROUGH AWAY FROM THE WHEEL.  AFTER A WHILE I CRAWLED UP A SAND DUNE AND THEN ANOTHER AND THEN A THIRD.  WHEN I GOT TO THE TOP OF THE THIRD DUNE I LOOKED DOWN AND THERE WAS MY PICKUP.

 

I SLED DOWN THE DUNE AND STAGGERED OVER TO THE WATER HYDRANT NEXT TO THE PICNIC TABLE AT MY CAMP SITE.  I TURNED IT ON AND STUCK MY HEAD UNDER THE WATER.  AFTER A COUPLE OF MINUTES I TURNED MY HEAD SIDE WAYS AND GOT A DRINK. 

 

THEN I DUG INTO MY POCKET FOR THE KEY TO MY CAMPER.  MY POCKET WAS FULL OF SAND AND IT TOOK ME A MINUTE TO FIND MY KEY RING.  WHEN I DID I WENT INTO THE CAMPED AND GOT THE WATER HOSE I USE TO HOOK UP WATER TO THE CAMPER.  I CAME BACK OUT AND HOOKED IT TO THE HYDRANT.  I PULLED OFF MY BOOTS AND ALL MY CLOTHES AND LAID THEM ON THE PICNIC TABLE.  I STOOD THERE AND WASHED ALL THE SAND OFF ME.  THEN I WALKED INTO THE CAMPER AND GOT A TOWEL, DRIED OFF AND CRAWLED INTO BED.

 

WHEN I WOKE UP IT WAS BROAD DAY LIGHT.  I GOT UP AND PUT ON SOME CLEAN CLOTHS AND LOOKED FOR MY BOOTS.  BUT THEY WERENíT IN THE CAMPER.  THEN I REMEMBERED I HAD LEFT MY BOOTS AND ALL MY CLOTHS ON THE PICNIC TABLE LAST NIGHT.  MY BILLFOLD AND ALL MY MONEY HAD BEEN IN THE POCKET OF MY JEANS.  I QUICKLY SLIPPED ON A PAIR OF MOCCASINS AND WENT OUT TO THE PICNIC TABLE.  EVERYTHING WAS STILL THERE.  I SHOOK THE SAND OUT OF MY BOOTS AND CLOTHS AND THREW THEM IN THE BACK OF THE CAMPER.  I WAS ONLY FIVE HOURS AWAY FROM HOME NOW AND I WOULD JUST WARE MY MOCCASINS HOME.

 

AS I DROVE OUT THE GATE TO THE PARK I REACHED OVER AND TURNED ON THE RADIO.  CAN YOU GUESS WHAT I HEARD?  WHY IT WAS OLD WILLIE AGAIN.

 

ON THE ROAD AGAIN

JUST CANíT WAIT TO GET ON THE ROAD AGAIN

THE LIFE I LOVE IS MAKINí MUSIC WITH MY FRIENDS

AND I CANíT WAIT TO GET ON THE ROAD AGAIN

 

                      

  BY LOREN MOORE

COPYRIGHT 2005

     

LOREN

 GOTTA GO - SEE YA

 

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