ITALIAN COOKIES
An
elderly Italian man lay dying in his bed.
While suffering the agonies of
impending death,
he suddenly smelled the aroma
of his favorite
Italian anisette sprinkle
cookies wafting up the
stairs. He gathered his
remaining strength, and
lifted himself from the bed.
Leaning against the wall, he
slowly made his
way out of the bedroom, and
with even greater
effort, gripping the railing
with both hands, he
crawled downstairs. With labored breath, he
leaned against the doorframe,
gazing into the
Were it not for death's agony,
he would have
thought himself already in
heaven, for there,
spread out upon waxed paper on
the kitchen
table were literally hundreds
of his favorite
anisette sprinkle cookies.
Was it heaven? Or was it one
final act of
heroic love from his devoted
Italian wife of
sixty years, seeing to it that
he left this world
Mustering one great final
effort, he threw
himself towards the table,
landing on his
knees in a rumpled posture.
His parched lips
parted, the wondrous taste of the
cookie was
already in his mouth,
seemingly bringing him
The aged and
withered hand trembled on its
way to a cookie at the edge of
the table,
when it was suddenly smacked
with a spatula
Back
off!" she said, "They're for the funeral."
MAN OF
THE HOUSE
A
mild-mannered man was tired of being bossed
around by his
wife; so he went to a psychiatrist.
The
psychiatrist said he needed to build his
self-esteem,
and gave him a book on assertiveness,
which he read
and finished before going home.
When he
returned he stormed into the house and
walked up to
his wife. Pointing a finger in her face,
he said,
"From now on, I want you to know that
"I" am the
man of this house, and my word is law!
I want you to
prepare me a gourmet meal tonight,
and when I'm
finished eating my meal, I expect a
sumptuous
dessert afterward.
Then, after
dinner, you're going to draw me my
bath so I can
relax. And when I'm finished with
my bath,
guess who's going to dress me and
His wife
responded, "The Undertaker!."
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